The Right Way and The Wrong Way

Well I'm Officially engaged and it was great and simple but my sister told me about one of her friends who also proposed to his girl over the weekend. They go out and decided to get trashed, they take a cab home, the girlfriend slams her thumb in the cab door, and later on is puking her guts out, and while all the puking and bleeding is going on he purposes to her. Oh what great memories they'll have

Cooking Conditions

I love food, I love food so much that I will combine two things that I really like and turn it into something that tastes amazing. Although others don't seem to think like I do....for example I made one time my own version of a Greek pasta with linguini noodles, black olives, feta cheese, pepperoni and then out of nowhere my ADCW kicks in. What's ADCW you are asking well ADCW stands for "Attention, Deficit, Culinary, Weirdness" and it's my own self diagnosis and basicly what happens is that it transforms me into the mad scientist version of Chef from the Muppets. I say to myself 'Hey let's throw some blue cheese dressing in it". You are saying to yourself Ew but don't knock it cause it was delicious, but everyone else looked at it as if I just scraped up the left overs from the garbage disposal. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with experimentation? I mean everytime I do something that's different they look at me as if I'm a goverment funded scientist commiting animal crulity

New Level

I'm sure we've all heard about obesity is getting rampant in this country. There are different levels of obesity and they all have been sugar coated with medial terms. I seen recently a level of obesity that I can only call low rider obese, and on that you should see where this is going. This man is walking out of McDonalds with what I thought was an over sized change purse but was the Togo bag. He gets into his van but this is not the van we see now, I'm talking the huge camper van the kind a homeless person would call a home. He steps in and the whole van drops 6 inchs and the top half of the wheels are covered by the wheel wells. I was expecting a thumbing sound system to come to life when he turned the van over.

Strange Observations

Just the other day a guy at work comes over to me and points out how sexy one of our new coworkers are and I quote "The new girl looks like she's 12 but has great tits but I'm not sure" as he ends the sentence the girl he was referring to walks by and on her way out to the dinning room and as that happens he adds "Nice ass too". I look at him and reply "Why don't you tell someone who really needs to hear this" and he says "Come on, you can't say you dont appreciate that?" I respond "I do appreciate it, but I can't appreciate it from you"

Strange Career Choices

A good friend of mine just started a new job. He went to school for culinary arts and a business management degree and passed with flying colors. He makes the announcement that he's starting the job and congratulate him on facebook "Congrates man where you working at?" his reply "Gander Mountain in the fire arms department" so the next time you go to Gander Mountain to buy a fire arm you'll not only get a great deal but fantastic advise on how to cook up fantastic venison.

Dating Troubles

Dating was diffiult for long time for me, I've had a total of six relationships and I never undrstood it. I did my up most to be a gentleman and just be myself but never works. I asked a coworker about it and this was his response word for word "Dude you're just creepy" and I asked him "How am I creepy?" and his response again word for word "You just are" I know it made no sense to me either that's like if I walked up to a perfect stranger and told him "You're a pot head" and he or she replies "What makes you sure?" and I say "Cause I say so" and walk away. There's nothing to back up the claim. Chances are though that person you approach is a pot head and offers you some grass to keep you quiet.

New Items

Saw a coworker sitting on a baby high chair one night I was closing, and her feet were dangling off the floor. My first thought was 'When did we get new bar stools?'

Second Family

Working in a resturant as long as I have you come to appreciate the people you work with. Oh yeah they become in a way a second family to you. A big happy, depressed, over worked, under paid, dysfunctional family. We do get on each others nerves even though we don't mean to.....half the time.

Common Sense

There are two jobs I will never do in a resturant that's a bar tender, and a server, I have two reasons for that. One I care about a customers health and safety and two I want to live a long life. I'm a people person but I'm not that friendly, cause I'm sure anyone who works or has worked in the food industry believe in something that's called.....oh what is that word......it's on the tip of my tongue.....oh right common sense that's it.

Strange Request

Dealing with canadians all week long day in and day out you figure out how to spot them pretty easily, but not the way you think which most likely is by there license plate or there the language, oh no here's how. You get an order for a medium cooked steak and it's cooked perfectly so perfectly that you want to eat it yourself but it's someone elses so that's out. It comes back about two mins later and it's either the server or manager bringing it back and there trying not to laugh. They hand you the steak and say "Um...they want the steak brought up, and the request is 'keep it medium, just remove the pink'". Ok sure let me pull my tinkerbell wand out of my hind quarters and sprinkle the pixy dust.

Custom Conundrum

Everyone knows about custom license plates, and the personal plate rim covers. I saw one recently that was an actual sentence. The license plate read "SHOEGAL" and the rim cover read "I would rather be watching Sex and The City", now let's put them together "I would rather be watching Sex and The City SHOEGAL" sounds like an Internet chat with a porn star that has a foot fetish